So What Have I Learned?

Today marks 4 months since the accident. Yesterday marked 3 months since I got out of the hospital. So in these months of periodic isolation and many nights of staring at ceilings, what have I learned?

First and foremost I had plenty of time to reflect on my spiritual life. Or lack of one, if you will. I had been searching for answers for several years. During my "down time", as I call it (the time I was laid up in the hospitals and then at home, largely immobile), I did a lot of thinking and taking long, hard looks at myself, where I was, and how I got there..and I don't mean just in regards to the accident. I also had some very enlightening conversations with a friend who, much to his surprise, helped focus some of my thoughts and clarified others. All of this culminated, about 2 weeks ago, in my accepting Christ. I did so publicly last Sunday when we all visited the church my friend attends.

Another thing I've learned is how much I love and depend on "J" and have taken that, and her, for granted. Through all of this she has been right there, more than willing to do anything that was even remotely necessary to help me recover. There have been many times when she could have (and maybe should have) told me to fend for myself, but not her. She stepped right up to the plate every single time. She also fought for me when everyone else wanted to treat me like a side of beef. She stood up to insurance, hospitals, doctors, you name it. I cannot begin to imagine having to go through all this without her.

I learned that I have friends. Not "myspace" type friends, but true friends. Friends that sit with you in the hospital all night so your wife can get a break. Friends that will drive an hour to come visit you just so you won't feel alone. Friends that come and do work around your house for you without even being asked. Friends who sit with you day after day for no other reason than they want to spend time with you. These friends know who they are and I thank them for all they've done and I want them to know I value them more than I ever thought I could.

I learned that I am not as alone and invisible as I thought. People were coming to see me before I was even out of the ER. Folks I'd never heard of were asking about me and sending me good wishes. And here I had always believed I was all but alone in the world and I was of little significance to any but a very few. Boy, was I wrong! This event has made me step back and take another long, hard look at my place in the world. It's all new to me so I don't quite know what to make of it, but I'll figure it out.

There are other things I have learned, but I think I'll keep them to myself for the time being. Maybe permanently. I'm sure I have even more to learn as this process goes on. I just hope I'm paying attention to the lessons as they come.